Thoughts on Perfectionism

What is perfectionism? What it is NOT is merely having high standards or striving too intensely to achieve a goal. Perfectionism can corner you when you are frozen by the possibility of making a mistake creating a painfully narrow view of life. It may be better to strive for excellence rather than perfection. A state of excellence requires efficiency using less time and effort and is associated with academic improvement, future success and better life satisfaction. Perfectionists’ wellbeing is at stake when they hold themselves to such inflexibly high standards that it leads to harmful self-criticism.

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Science Based Aspirations for 2025

It is time to say farewell to 2024 and look toward setting smart goals for 2025 safety, health and happiness. Instead of the usual self-critical New Year resolutions based on ‘not being enough,’ why not use a gentler approach to set simple but measurable objectives with individual wellbeing in mind. Lasting change is rarely achieved with willpower. Instead, inform your plan based on science.

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Incivility in our Society

From small insults to more serious forms of aggression, acts of disrespect have consequences on our health, wellbeing and confidence. Take the example of being cut off in traffic, an experience that leaves one seething miles later or perhaps you have been rudely interrupted by a colleague in an important meeting. The magnitude of the effect it has on your decision making is not surprising, as most people replay the threatening scene repeatedly in their mind. When a person is rude to us, we feel targeted. The nervous system interprets these events as life-threatening and our ability to problem solve is compromised. ‘Anchoring’ is a term for cognitive bias describing the human tendency to rely too heavily on a first piece of information when solving a problem. For example, our outrage creates an overfocus (or anchor) on our initial interpretation ofwhat happened and ignores mediating information. The anchoring effect keeps us from logical solutions because of our judgment errors related to skewed expectations and dismissed information.

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Understanding and Overcoming Math Anxiety

Math anxiety manifests as a sense of increasing fear when solving equations, such as on a math test or just thinking about numbers. Usually one knows how to do the math, but the challenge comes when there is an emotional overreaction to working through the problems. When we are upset, we cannot access the parts of the brain necessary for solving problems. And…the ability to think is exactly what is needed to solve problems in the first place. Choosing to believe you are “just not a math person” can complicate your life. It is clear that math is used throughout our lifespan and can affect career choice, money management, calculating dimensions for home projects or planning for retirement.

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Youth Social Media Warning

At this moment, we are experiencing a national youth mental health crisis.

The U. S. Surgeon General has recently prioritized an advisory that a diversified effort be made to reduce the risk of harm to children’s mental health from the use of social media. Although it has its benefits, it has been concluded that the Internet is not safe enough to support the psychological wellness of children and teens ages 13-17. Kids are spending too much time on the Internet. More than 3.5 hours a day are occupied with social media sites and 1/3 of kids are using it almost ceaselessly. The type of content that may cause the most harm, as well as what may be touted as protective factors, are now being seriously researched.

What parents and caregivers can do
to mitigate this problem:

Create a family media plan to help establish healthy technology boundaries at home—including social media use.
Create tech-free zones and encourage kids to nurture their in-person friendships.
As an adult, model responsible social media behavior. for your kids.
Teach our young about technology and empower them to be responsible online participants at an age-appropriate level that corresponds with natural child development.
Report cyberbullying, online abuse and exploitation.
Work with other parents to establish shared norms and healthy online practices.
Support programs and policies surrounding healthy social media use.

Report - Current Priorities of the
U. S. Surgeon General on Social
Media and Youth Mental Health:
https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/youth-
mentalhealth/social-media/index.html#understand

How to create a family media plan:
www.healthychildren.org/MediaUsePlan.

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Talking to Children about School Shootings

Many caregivers are wondering how to address the Nashville school shooting with kids. Adults are uncertain about what to say when a child asks about community shootings they learned about in the news or from school friends. Children may be frightened by rumors or inaccuracies about what actually happened and require a special type of clarification. It is important to be proactive and truthful in talking with kids, but they definitely don’t need to know all the details of the event.

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Suzette Turner-Clark, LCSW-S, RPT/S, RYT-200